Monthly Archives: September 2011

Why I’ve taken on the challenge to hear the Desteni message

For power, actually.

I’ve witnessed myself build myself up through the mind, by putting my brother down. That’s were it stared anyways. I actually created a confident layer over my fears that worked, and still does. I’ve climbed the ladder within social comparison, collecting moments of “success” for me as ego. I assumed that the better I was in relation to others, the more confident I could be in my power/ability to dominate a situation. The insecurities and doubts running in the background were manageable with a layer added. I navigated through a lot of different relationships in this state. And I was winning. Had been losing though, the inverse, I think I would be very depressed. I think I depressed the lives around me as kind of an equal and opposite reaction to me. The ego I had created and have been continuing to allow for too long, existed almost entirely for the chance to see that I was better; my self interest, based in fears of being less.

I stop the layering of new personalities to cover up the fears. I am so damn clever that I can get away with creating successful layers to my personality all day. You might be asking, “The problem?” Answer: I was creating a personality that was greater, to cover the feeling of being lesser. When Desteni slapped me in the face with equality, I finally began to level myself. I am working towards deflating my ego to the point that I believe I am no better than any individual. …I have believed myself to be so significant, so important, so much more important that others, especially from the perspective of understanding, which I equate to being more powerful.

Now, my awareness of my mind is at an all time high. I have not changed as much as I would like, but that’s just my anxious tendency talking. My goal kind of remains the same: better myself so that I can better the world, except with a little twist…I am everyone else too! The Ultimate Goal: To stop contributing to the energies of our collective mind, by slowly switching stance from self interest to equality-fearless. So far, I have some knowledge. Now I have to stop thinking about it and apply it.

Aligning to a lifestyle in agreement with what is Best for All is a trip. A little scary, but facing yourself and your fears, inherently, must be scary. Do it because it’s worth it. You do it because it’s the best thing you can do for yourself; it’s the best thing you can do for others…that’s pretty much everyone.

http://www.desteni.org/

If you’re curious and have 40 minutes, this is a revealing break down of the issue at hand: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfL3KjKqKEY

Take the easy way = layers of ignorance and self protection; take on the challenge = see your mind

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How Desteni was able to enter into my worldview.

I have always been too curious to dismiss a new belief system. That’s been the contrasting difference between myself and the friends I have who refuse to take a closer look at Desteni. I grew up with a strong burning desire to find truth. Google was my go to, not my pastor. I’ve cycled through many spiritual insights while continually changing and updating my beliefs as I went. I liked my open minded, dynamic belief system because I was becoming more insightful than my peers in my head. I was buying up spiritual books like they were candy, and even went as far as eating white powdered gold (from zptech.net) to “activate my DNA” and have the 2 hemispheres of my brain communicate with each other more efficiently so that I would be spiritually advanced and shit.

I was developing a strong ego within my research. My whole starting point as a Truthseeker, was to become the best, most knowledgeable and powerful amongst  my peers. I was afraid that I wasn’t great. I was scared to be inferior. So I reacted by making it my life mission to acquire knowledge and school my dumb friends to feel smart and superior.

Soon after I started subscribing to Cory Herter’s perspective and  bought 100 Sacred Geometry posters for $100, I found some peculiar videos on YouTube. The Desteniproductions channel on YouTube blew my mind (has since been shut down; they’re currently re-uploading their massive collection of videos). There were so many contradictions and complicated points, many of which seemed way out there, bizarre even! But…their message tingled of truth. I had to keep checking it out.

So now my world is upside-down. The spiritual ladder of greatness I had been so invested in is now the wrong direction according to this new information. It was so hard to assimilate, that I kind of created a different dimension of new knowledge in my mind that I used to further this ego position of mine. They grabbed my grabbable ego, gave me some foreign  tools like awareness of breath in every moment & self forgiveness, and I started on a path of actually seeing just how fucked up I am.

The first 6 months were intense as I willfully began to align with the information. Lots of overlap with bits of information I’ve seen before in my 2012 research. The reptilians, the notion of Oneness, and the limitations of the mind were all very intriguing to me. I couldn’t put it my computer down. I felt as if I not only found something really great, but I was still ego-tripping.

Now, with 2 years under my belt, the personal realizations are just getting more intense. I experienced a lot of resistance/reluctance with doing Self-forgiveness, but just recently I experienced a break through: I forgave myself for being a jackass to my brother. This brought me to tears. I couldn’t believe that I’ve been such an asshole for so long, playing ego games and fighting to make sure I was on top. It was a definite release.

I’ve been keeping a journal of my process which I am extremely grateful for, but it’s time to go public. This is my first Blog about the Desteni perspective from my perspective, and I do intend to keep writing and sharing my process with any one interested in reading it. I’ll keep it as clear and concise as I can because an attempt to learn directly from Desteni could be very difficult to accept if you are already sure of who you are. Enjoy & please share your your 2 cents with me. Thanks.